Hey now... this is so much more than a christmas special ok. It really tore me to shreds, and wrecked me emotionally. There was world building, there was background information on everyone's history, and there was joy, so much needed joy. the winter solstice scene at the town house was perfection, SJM did such a good job of juggling all the characters and their individual personalities all in one room together. I loved how we go to see everyone's dynamics with each other, it was like a christmas special in that way. We got to see everyone interacting in one house together, which I think speaks to SJM's writing skills, because it can be hard to balance all your major characters in one room.
I felt such a weight on my chest while Nesta sat in the corner by herself, while everyone else moved on with their lives and expected her to do so just as quickly. It was truly giving "everybody moved, but I stayed there". This was when I really started to see that Nesta was the most realistic picture of what trauma looks like, or atleast the one that resonates with me the most. The first time I read it, the scene where Cassian tries to follow Nesta home and she throws his gift to her into the river, made me furious. But then I thought about it a little bit, and realized that her behavior completely lines up with how she has always acted, dismissive of her and others emotions. When Cassian confessed how he felt for her, it was as he lay dying in her arms. But if he had done so in a normal, non life threatening scenario, she would have probably acted exactly how she acts toward him in this book, she would have run away.
Also, I just want to cry for Elaine at all times because she has been through so much and handles it with such kindness. And andddd Lucien needs to just chill out, Elaine just wants to tend to her garden and discover her happiness on her own time, her and Nesta are the same in that way. I understand Feyre wanting to make him feel welcomed, but I think it just makes everything so awkward because its clear Elaine is not feeling the mating bond.
To end it all off, let's talk about the gifts the everyone got each other. First, Elaine's gifts. The fact that Feyre and Lucien both got her gifts that pertain to gardening, says a lot. Her sister and her "mate" both got her something for her favorite hobby. I think it was very sweet for Lucien to get her the gloves that won't tear or become sweaty while she is gardening. It means that he wants her to be able to garden without having to worry about anything else, she can just enjoy it and be at peace. Azriel's gifts, both the ones given and received might be my favorites. The gift that Elaine gets Az is just, perfection. The powder for the headaches everyone gives him, I was giggling and kicking my feet. Elaine is genuinely she cute and funny for that. She knows that everyone annoys him so bad and he has to be the voice of reason. OK and and the gift that he gets Nesta... top tier. A fae version of a reading light, so she can read her books in bed even after it gets dark! I love their friendship, I feel like they have this silent understanding of each other. Rhys buying Feyre their new house... I was deceased. With enough space for their family and friends, in the heart of the city they both love. And last but not least, the paintings Feyre gave everybody. I thought that was so special, using the thing she loves to do most to make something for the people she loves most.
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